Children of all ages all across America rejoiced last Wednesday, and into late Thursday after SquirrelJumper.com announced its latest marketing policy, for they knew that a visit from Jumpy was surely in store.

Indeed, at time of release, SquirrelJumper.com corporate headquarters had already confirmed appearances for the beloved Jumpy at 37 public elementary schools, 51 children's cancer wards, 109 waste treatment centers, 12 used car dealerships, and the Max's Pizzeria on the corner 6th and Alder in Madison, WI, USA.

Known for his wacky antics and hair-trigger temper, Jumpy brings an air of unpredictability to the other-wise tedious world of corporate branding.

Accompanying Jumpy on his world-wind tour will be three actual SquirrelJumpers, who will reenact famous and historical Jumps, using Jumpy as a live target.

"Watch out America, 'cuz here comes Jumpy," the 6'3", 280 pound rodent exclaimed in a piercing voice that can only be described as painful. "I'm 'bound' to 'jump' into the hearts of everyone who is young at heart in Ameri . . . Look out. Here they come. Hide me! For the love of God save me from the pain they will surely inflict!"

In addition to spreading joy and cheefulness throughout America, Jumpy and the Jumpers will be distributing SquirrelJumper.com corporate marketing collateral.